Friday, December 23, 2011

   SMS



  • Sms
  • Advice Sms Quotes
  • Anniversary Sms
  • April Fools Sms
  • ASCII Sms
  • Barish/Rainy day Sms
  • Best Wishes Sms
  • Birthday Sms
  • Birthday Shayari
  • Break up Sms
  • Broken Heart Sms
  • Cool Sms
  • Cute Sms
  • Engagement Sms
  • Exam Sms
  • Flirt Sms
  • Friendship Sms
  • Funny Sms
  • Get Well Soon Sms
  • Ghazal SMS
  • Good Luck SMS
  • Good Morning SMS
  • Good Night SMS
  • Greetings SMS
  • Heart SMS
  • Hindi Love SMS
  • Hindi New Year SMS
  • Hindi Sad SMS
  • Husband Wife SMS
  • Inspirational Sayings
  • Insult SMS
  • Islamic SMS
  • Kiss SMS
  • Life Sms
  • Love SMS
  • Marriage SMS
  • Misc SMS Jokes
  • Misleading SMS
  • Miss You SMS
  • Motivational Quotes SMS
  • Munna bhai SMS
  • Naughty SMS
  • One Liner SMS
  • Pashto SMS
  • Poetry SMS
  • Politics SMS
  • Punjabi SMS
  • Relationship SMS
  • Riddle SMS
  • Romantic SMS
  • Sad SMS
  • Santa Banta SMS
  • Shayari SMS
  • Sardar SMS
  • Smile SMS
  • Sorry SMS
  • Student SMS
  • Wife SMS
  • Wise Sayings




  Special Events
  • Best Friends Day Sms
  • Christmas Sms
  • Diwali Sms
  • Durga Puja Sms
  • Dussehra Sms
  • Easter Sms
  • Eid Mubarak Sms
  • Father's Day Sms
  • Holi SMS
  • Independence Day SMS
  • Mother's day SMS
  • Navratri SMS
  • New Year SMS
  • NoboBorsho SMS
  • Rakhi SMS
  • Ramadan SMS
  • Rose Day SMS
  • Valentines Day SMS
  • Vijaya Dashami Sms

Adult SMS

A funny dirty adult poem
Niple niple little star
can i suck you in my car
up above the breast so high
always milky never dry
let me touch it never shy
in the bra it will be dry

Adult funny jokes
He took me from a bar
He took me in his car
He took my top off
He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry:
I'm a bottle of wine!

Dirty jokes
Amitabh bachan in KBC
Question for 10 lac to Sardar jee
What is the colour of your wife's underwear?
Option 1 : White
Option 2 : Grey
Option 3 : Black
Option 4 : Blue

Sardar jee : Can i phone a friend?

A adult saying
How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!

Most difficult golf course
The most difficult golf course in the world is.. "Women Hole" any style you play.. as many shots you try.. & as much perfection you have.. you can never get your balls in..!!!

Teach math to a girl
How To Teach Mathematics To A Girl.
1st add lips
2nd minus clothes
3rd divide legs
and then start Multiplication in the Sweetest Point.

A nice funny adult sms
BUY A SCOOTY�..
PICK UP A BEAUTY�
DRINK A FROOTY�.
TAKE HER TO OOTY�
REMOVE HER NIGHTY�
DO UR DUTY�
AFTER 9 MONTHS �
* GET A CUTY *

How to satisfy
HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub

tease pamper console worship respect & love.

HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job

What body part goes to heaven first
A teacher asked "what part of the body goes to heaven first?"

A child replied "feet"

coz every night I see my mum with her feet in the air screaming

GOD I'M CUMIN!

Sex is a sensation
Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation,
putting his location in a
woman's destination.
Do you understand the explanation or do you need a

demonstration? ;)

Hindi non veg sms
Baccha (looking at breast): Maa ye kya hai?
Maa : Ballon baccha
Baccha : aapke itne chote aur kamwali k itne bade kyun?
Maa : Tune kab dekha?
Baccha : Jab papa hawa bhar rahe the.

Hindi dirty sms
Judge : as you are the key witness,can u tell me the exact place,wheere this man raped ur wife? Sardar : Lifted sardarni"s saree and said,here my lord.

Hindi dirty song
Fiza remix song - Maha bub mere maha bub mere,teri bistar pe mujhe sone de,bahut dudh ( . )( . ) hai tere siney mein,mujhe daba daba k pine de.

Dirty Funny messages
Sambha - sardar thakur ka kya karna hai?
Gabbar - kuch neh uska haat kaa tdo aur roz 3 blue film dikhao,
woh khud tadap tadap k mar jaye ga.

Naughty & Funny messages
Gandhiji never had underwear under his dhoti,
Do u know y?Becoz he believed in " FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT"

Naughty & Funny text sms
A man busy having sex. Son - dad kya kaar rahe ho?
Dad - mummy k tank mein patrol bhar raha hoon
Son - Fuel meter check karke dalo,dopaher me hi uncle tank full kar k gaya.

Naughty & Funny text sms
Girl - mom tom asked me to climb the tree.
Mom u fool, he wanted to see ur panty.
Girl - i knew so i removed my panty before climbing.

Non veg text sms about cricket and bra
Q - What is the difference between hook in cricket and of bra?
A - One sends ball out of the boundary and other keeps balls within the boundary.

Naughty & Funny text sms
a man to shopkeeper: ek white color ka condom de na
shopkeeper: white hi kyo?
man:padosan ka pati mar gaya hai afsos karne jana hai

Girl and her mom
Maa ne apni beti se poocha, "How your married life is going on?"
Beti ne sharmate huye kaha,
"It was just like the advertisement of British airways"
Jab mother ne advertisement dekhi to woh shock ho gayi
7 days a week, twice a day, both ways. 

Dad never wear raincoat
Two unborn child in mothers womb,
saw a penis,
one told "look dad is coming"
other told "stupid, this is not dad, thats uncle..
dad never wear raincoat!"

A funny and dirty sms
Pathan was teaching his kid
how 2 masturbate..
Kid says - "this is gr8 fun dad!"
Pathan said - yes, n wen u get 13
u can use ur own cock

A dirty sms message
Monkeys and girls are same,
because they fight only for banana...

Boys and rats are same
because they always search new holes.

A punjabi bra ad:
Har kudi di pehli pasand "soniya bra"

hun 6 size wich
1.small
2.medium
3.large
4.oye hoye!
5.hai o rabba!
6.oh tei maa dee!

Dirty conversation between boy and girl
Boy : 2 times 2 is 4, plus 5 is nine,
I can pee in urs but u cant pee in mine.

grl : 2 times 2 is 4, plus 5 is nine,
I know ur length but ull nvr know the depth of mine.

Dirty sms about teacher and student
Tchr : pasive me badlo!
"bache jab sunsan jagao par jate he to hadso ko janam dete hain"
stdnt : "sunsan jagao par huye haadse bacho ko janam dete hain"

70 way to keep a woman happy - a dirty sms
There are 70 ways to keep a woman happy.

One is to take her shopping.

The rest is 69

Bengali non veg sms about NANO
Ratan(tata) bole- dekhun didi ei j amar nano, didi bole bhalo tobe eto choto keno? Ratan bole choto holeo ache darun dom, Didi bole chepe dekhbo sotti kirokom.

Bhagwan ko khusi kab hota hain
Q. Bhagwan kab khus ho jate hain
A. Jab koi ladki rape ho rahi ho or o chikhti hain,
plz bhagwan ke liye chhod do..

Naughty boy draws penis
Naughty boy draws a penis on the black board.
Lady teacher rubs it off.
Next day he draws a bigger one & writes:
'jitna ragdogi utna bada hoga...'

Funny adult sms about male and female
May times, ppl say that d women species talk too much

but dere's no problem, bcoz d male ear is selective

Example:

wen d women say:
this house is a mess, honey
U n I need 2 clean this
Ur stuff is all on d floor
U will b without clothes
If u don't wash them NOW

The male ear only understand:

bla bla bla, honey
bla bla bla, U n I
bla bla bla, on the floor
bla bla bla, without clothes
bla bla bla, NOW!!
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 More Adult SMS Jokes / Text Messages
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© neemesh-love



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